More MercyPosted: July 13, 2010
Guys, I realized that I don’t do this enough: Please be praying for me. I am realizing more and more and more how dependent I am on God, and how much I need to be taking everything to Him. But I need y’all to be praying for me, too, and for the girls at House of Glory and for the team here and for the short term teams who are coming and so much more. Please be praying.
Anyway, here’s the update:
Wonderful news about God’s faithfulness! I’m not sure if I told you, but I really, really struggle during the weekly church prayer meeting. Everyone prays, everyone prays a loooong time, and everyone prays in Spanish. And it’s at least two hours of straight praying. Ever since I came, I have struggled during the meeting, to put it mildly. I have very little patience; I can only absorb so much Spanish; I get resentful of how long and even how everyone prays; by the time prayer is done, I am almost jumping out of my skin, and I have more to repent of than before I came to prayer meeting. I hate it.
So, I’ve been praying every week that God would change my heart. And nothing has been happening. Except that prayer meeting got extended another hour.
But God showed up! Of course, on the first night of 3 hour prayer meeting, when I knew I couldn’t have a good attitude on my own, when it seemed impossible that I would come out of it feeling anything but frustrated and guilty and mad, He showed up. I loved praying with my brothers and sisters! I was so excited about the big things we were asking God for and to see the cool ways he was going answer! I enjoyed spending time before God. You don’t know how rarely that has ever happened to me in a time of prayer. God was so faithful to meet me, to make it obvious that it was Him, to show up when it was most clear that I couldn’t do it on my own. This process of learning how to pray and how little I pray and how much it changes my attitude and outlook when I pray and how God will meet me, has been a long one (I can see that He has been teaching me these things in a really obvious way since December, and I’m sure before that, too), and I’m sure there is a long road ahead as well, but it was glorious for God to meet me in this struggle that I had specifically been bringing before Him for a month. And to meet me at all! I’d been struggling with feeling like He never meets me (which is silly I know, but sometimes it’s hard to see).
So, if you think about it (which you are right now), tell God thanks for me for showing Himself so faithful. I’ve been telling Him thanks, but you can, too.