News (in categories)

News in the We May Be Gringos And We May Be A Bit Clueless category:

We ate more good food, and miscommunications are always the best. Like, this time! Holly and I found a restaurant that looked good. I ordered food that I had no idea what it was, and it turned out great. I also ordered regular sized Coke, but through the Magic Power of Miscommunication, I actually ordered a huge Liter glass bottle of Coke. For two of us. For lunch. So, that was ridiculous. I took a picture (be proud of me, Dad).

(Egg, and fried platano and chicken, on french fries. So good, although I’m not such a fan of teh platanos.)

News in the We May Be Gringos But We’re Not That Clueless category:

While I was taking pictures at the Plaza de Armas, a guy approached me, asked me if I spoke Spanish, and started into this whole long schpiel in Spanish: “He is a student, studying social science, he has a photography class, his camera resolution is too low, I have a good camera, could I take pictures and email them to him?” Holly had been a little bit away from me when this *ahem* charming fellow approached, but like a loyal friend her antenna was immediately up and she circled in the background, ready to pounce if any foul play appeared to be going down.

And then…I lied a little bit. Yes, your intrepid missionary intern lied. Do with that what you will. I told him that I wouldn’t be able to upload the pictures for a while, so his project would probably be done by the time I got them to him. (All this time I was putting my camera back in my bag.) He took the news well, and then started asking me about where in the U.S. I lived, etc. But, soon, the interaction was over and all was well, Holly still hovering in the background.

The only things I can figure he wanted were (1) my email address or (2)me to offer to let him take pictures with my camera. Good news, guys: I’m not an idiot and did not give him my camera. Or my email address.

(he’s the one in the suit. Also, that’s the Presidential Palace behind him.)

More News in the We May Be Gringos But We’re Not That Clueless category: A taxi driver tried to tell us it would cost us 20 soles to get back to our apartment, when it should cost 8, maybe 10. He tried to tempt us with an “offer” of 15 soles. Thanks, bud. I appreciate your offer to gip us slightly less exorbitantly. So, we moved on to the next taxi, who reasonably started the bartering at 10 soles. See, that’s my kind of guy. Plus, he was a ridiculously bold taxi driver. Holly was praying the whole time, as we swerved in and out and around and (almost) through the other cars. And I just laughed, because I love Lima traffic. If we die, we die; otherwise, it’s the most exciting, complicated, team-building car ride you’ll ever take! It’s wonderful.

News in the That’s Classy, Bud category: a guy came up to us and sort of yelled at us in English, “HEY LADIES. YOU FROM THE UNITED STATES? YOU WANT BUY THIS TICKET [for some thing he was selling. I dunno. We indicated, that, no, his English and shouting were not overpoweringly persuasive, and we would pass this time].” As we kept walking, he yelled at our backs, “[something, somthing] SEXY. YOU CAN GET MASSAGE. [Something, somthing] UNITED STATES.”  Like I said, that’s classy, Bud.

I’m having trouble with the upload process for photos, but muy pronto I will amend this, with photographic evidence attached. I even found that I had a picture of the camera guy, from a 360 degree shot I had taken moments before. He’s even looking at the camera. (It’s a little creepy, but whatevs.)

Love and Gringo Adventures,


P.S. I have to be at the office, working in 7 hours. Oops.


One Comment on “News (in categories)”

  1. cyntaur23 says:

    You should sleep more, my friend. But I can’t really talk…

    This post brought back memories:
    -The area around the Eiffel Tower is crawling with Gypsies just waiting to take advantage of any hint of naïveté. “Speak English? Speak English?”
    -We had multiple experiences with obscenities directed at the United States yelled at us when in France/Germany. Good times.

    Good work not being dumb.

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