none of this grey-getting-slowly-into-lighter-grey business. no, the valleys would be full of mist, settled in the bottom, and the sun would gild the top of the hills  and the clouds with gold and intense pink-red and the sky would be deep, deep blue higher up.

my words can’t come close to conveying that beauty, and neither would a picture I would attempt to take. So here’s a picture that shows the human reaction to that beauty: Jess, brushing her teeth, braving the chilly morning in bare feet, to take in the sunrise.

that’ll get me a job, for sure…

yeah. that’s a castle on top of the hill. YEAH. it was crazy.

The dinner table at our hosts’ house had one side with chairs, and then one side with a bench that was kind of shoved up against the wall. once you were in the bench, you didn’t get out until everyone was done with the meal and the after dinner conversation in loud, passionate Italian.

well, one dinner, I made the mistake of being the farthest one back on the bench, and after dinner, I desperately had to go to the bathroom. but the conversation was in full swing and it was such a lovely evening that I didn’t want to disrupt it by making everyone get up while I scooted out of the bench. eventually, someone else on the bench with me sort of wanted to get out, too. this drove my thinking into creative/desperate mode.

The table in question. note the bench on the left side of the photo. Also, photo credit to Jess, I think.

With as much seriousness as I could muster, I turned to Cynthia and said, “On the count of three, I’ll splash my glass of water into someone’s face, and you duck and crawl under the table in the confusion. then I’ll follow. no one will notice.”

And the mental image of me, the American at the end of the table, throwing a glass full of water in someone’s face, abruptly and bizarrely interrupting their animated conversation in Italian for NO explicable reason, while someone else scurried under the table, sent us into GALES of silent laughter.

and so, if you ever need a diversionary tactic, always remember that a glass of water could be exactly what you need to create chaos. and the mental image of the aftermath of that water-throwing will keep you entertained through whichever situation from which you needed a diversionary tactic. Guaranteed. Or your money back.

[I typed "or your mommy back" the first time. It gives the phrase a whole new spin...]

did I not just mention that they were THE most advanced particle physics lab in the world?? That’s like an Olympic gold-medal-winning runner in his or her prime wearing shoes with stripes on them…because they make him or her look faster.

What CERN is, what it has to boast about.

What CERN added, to, I dunno, make it cooler? (It=that amazing this above)

dear CERN,

you are cool and science-y and mindblowing and technologically impressive enough by virtue of being FREAKING CERN. you could drop the 3-D the next time you make a video.

Love,

a Visitor, Concerned You’re Insecure and Trying a Leeetle Too Hard, When You Really, Really Don’t Need To.

a FIAT tractor we came across in Italy. All I can think as I’m in Europe and seeing tons of Fiats, is the joke my mom once told me that they would say about my dad’s old janky fiat. So here it is:

“Why do they call it a fiat?”

“because it’s time to Fix It Again, Tony.”

or, since it was my family, “Tim”

First story:

For one intense car ride all I could think for about 5 minutes was, ‘Oh, so this is how I die: speeding down twisting Italian mountain roads at night, driven by a texting Italian teenage boy, while going to the grocery store to buy pads. Huh. There you go.’ I was quite calm and interested in my own impending death, especially in what a ridiculous story it would make.

Second story:

First, a little background: Like pioneers getting together and swapping familiar rumors they’d heard about gold strikes in the distant mountains that they’d talked about dozens of times before, the other volunteers and us kept talking about the rumor of a Ferrero-Rocher chocolate factory in a town just a little ways away.

This is us, thinking about the Ferrero Rocher factory. Really. Italy looks different that you think...

The subject came up at least once a day. Not only was there a fabled Ferrero Rocher chocolate factory, but we were told that there were tours. For free. With UNLIMITED FREE SAMPLES AT THE END.

No wonder we talked about it all the time.

Anyway, one day while we were discussing it, and how we could possibly get ourselves there, one of our fellow volunteers named Greg said, ‘Well, with all those free samples, I’d probably eat until I just…died.’

I considered it for a moment and said,’Yeah, but what a great way to go!’

And at that moment we decided what his tombstone would read:

I wouldn’t not mind having it happen that way. Just sayin’.

Edit:I would like you guys to know the kind of commitment I have to bringing you exciting and entertaining blogging content (read: to avoiding working on my essay): I am sitting in a library AT OXFORD UNIVERSITY, on a PUBLIC COMPUTER drawing a gravestone in MS Paint and looking up pictures of pioneers, enduring people’s judgmental and confused glances, so that you could have this post!

Sigh. I think it’s time to get back to work, dignity irreperably damaged. (oh, who am I kidding, I have very little dignity in the first place.)

Actually, I was probably behind the lens more often (and more obnoxiously?), but we used Jess’ camera to take most of them because it is sweet. Anyways, she’s started putting pics up here, so check ‘em out!

Cyntaur and Jesserman and me! On Jess’ 21st birthday, on the top of a crumbly, steep hill we climbed! (am I the only one who doesn’t have a nickname? I’m okay with it, since the closest I came was when Cynthia called me “Barren Karen” until I threatened her enough and she quit.)

Climbing our hillside

The farm!

Walkin’

Eating in Assissi on a wall in the sun we found. With a view like that you never wanted to be somewhere you couldn’t see it.

More view from Assissi.

And there’s a ton more coming. Get excited!